Over 17,000 people are currently in the staggered process of choosing who to elect as Malta’s next PN and Opposition Leader. But while the rest of us won’t have any real say on whether Bernard Grech or Adrian Delia will emerge victorious, we’ll have the opportunity to watch the two go head-to-head in a debate tonight.
Whether or not you care about who Malta’s second-largest political party elects as its leader, though, there’s no reason for you not to have some fun with it.
No matter what happens, no matter how insane of a year we’re having, one thing remains: Maltese people sure do love their alcohol. We’ve had drinking games for everything from Christmas to Eurovision… so why not for this?
These are the rules:
1. There are three types of drinks – sip, shot or down. They’re pretty self-explanatory, but just in case you need clarification…’sip’ means you just take a sip of whatever you’re drinking, ‘shot’ means you need to take a shot of something a bit stronger, and ‘down’ means you need to finish your drink.
2. Drink responsibly! This is all for some fun, but you know your limits. And don’t drink and drive – get a taxi or prepare for a cute sleepover.
Capisce? Capisce. Tlaqna!
1. SHOT: Things kick off with technical difficulties
Let’s face it; we’ve gotten used to these things happening. It’s 2020… and it’s Malta.
No audio, low volume, glitching picture, something nearly always happens. So if it does, get ready to start in style with downing a shot.
2. SIP: Talking over each other
This is probably going to be happening quite often, which is why we’ve relegated it to just a sip.
God knows you’re going to have enough sipping by the end of the hour.
In fact, to make it more interesting, you’re going to have to continue sipping until Grech and Delia actually stop talking over each other. Eesh.
3. SHOT: Someone brings up COVID-19
Sure, what a country’s potential Opposititon Leader thinks of his government’s response is pretty important, but we also just need to accept that this is 2020 and this sucker is everywhere.
Take a shot whenever anyone mentions the virus, the global pandemic, the world’s response… or of course, what he thinks about how Malta handled it and how we should handle the coming months.
File with: GIFs You Can Hear
4. SIP: Delia mentions Vitals
One of Delia’s biggest rallying calls since late 2017 has always been the controversial Vitals hospital deal, and you just know PN’s embattled leader is going to bring it up again tonight.
Aptly so, it’s time to sip on this one – we don’t want you passing out in the first couple of minutes.
5. SHOT: Grech says he’s an underdog
If there’s one thing Malta loves, it’s an underdog.
Just ask Joseph Muscat, who somehow managed to convince half the country he was the underdog in the 2019 elections despite him having a historic lead over his competition (which he managed to increase by the end of it all).
Coming in as the competitor to Delia’s three-year-long leadership, Grech has frequently insisted he’s the underdog in the fight… and him repeating that point definitely merits a shot.
6. DOWN: Delia’s eyes open extra wide
This one’s pretty self-explanatory.
It’s going to happen. And when it does, you’re going to need to down that drink.
7. DOWN: Grech cries
This might not happen, but seeing as the last time the two were asked questions ahead of the leadership election Grech cried, then that’s enough opportunity to have a chance at downing your whole drink.
Bonus points if Grech cries while saying he’s the underdog.
8. SIP: Delia mentions the PN’s tesserati
Another one that’s just waiting to happen.
Delia has constantly stressed the fact that his party’s paying members voted him in, and it’s this point which he could very well bring up tonight ahead of half those tesserati still needing to vote.
Heaven helps us if it ends up being one too many sips.
9. DOWN: Someone mentions “għaqda”, “unita” or “partit wieħed”
If there’s one thing that always threatens a party’s internal harmony, it’s a leadership debate. Even the Labour Party with its unparalleled strength saw everything from allegations of backroom deals to “pacts with the devil” being brought up, so you can imagine what a party that literally had a rebel uprising this summer is going through right now.
Delia and Grech will however want to show everyone – from their most loyal supporters to their biggest haters – that everything is fine and that is all about unifying their party.
And that’s where all those buzzwords come in… and an opportunity for you to down. that. drink.
10. SIP: Someone criticises the government and any recent (or past) decision
This one’s a no-brainer.
And it’s going to be happening a lot.
Which is why y’all need to sip for this one.
11. DOWN: Someone strays waaay clear of current hot topics that are a tad too progressive for the party
Abortion? Recreational cannabis? Prostitution?
If any of tthese taboo but important topics get brought up, we’re probably going to see some masterful deflections or a whole lot of nothing being said by both candidates.
Down whatever you’re drinking if that happens… or just take a sip (or three) if they say they’re “open to a discussion on this sensitive subject”.