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The Stages Of A Long Weekend Bender In Malta

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Malta has been blessed with a long list of perfectly-placed public holidays, most of which have beautifully landed on Fridays and Mondays. Ahead of this week’s long weekend, here are the stages many Maltese people out there will be going through.

1. Counting down each and every minute at work on a Friday afternoon


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2. Slowly (and subtly) packing your stuff half an hour before work is done so you can rush off home as soon as that clock hits 5

All those years of practice at school can finally be put to good use, you think, as you stuff your laptop charger in your bag.


3. Getting more and more hyped up as you get ready for the night

This is the perfect opportunity to practice singing along to the tunes you’ll be hearing tonight.


4. The horrible wait for your ride

Why are they always late?! #HypeKiller


5. Meeting your friends and getting instantly more excited

You could’ve met them less than a day ago, but this is the long weekend, so get ready to take everything up to 11.


6. Getting your drink on and going hard 

We’ve come this far, we can’t go back now.


7. Going back home in high spirits because you just realized it’s technically Friday again tomorrow

“Damn I love long weekends.”


8. Waking up hungover but ready to go for Round 2 as soon as the Panadols kick in

“There are still three days to go, I can’t slow down now!”


9. Using brunch as an excuse to drink more 

… because everyone knows that’s how you cure a hangover, right?


10. Starting Saturday night a bit earlier than usual

Paceville at 7? Uwijja, mhux xorta.


11. Getting the first hints of exhaustion at around 11 but pushing through

“Can’t stop now. Must continue.”


12. Stumbling back home and promising yourself you’ll have a quiet one on Sunday

There has to be one day of peace and quiet, and you decide holy Sunday is the day to do that.

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13. Waking up to a WhatsApp thread blown up with plans to do it all over again



14. Joining your friends to “cheeky afternoon cocktails” but secretly hating yourself

Peer pressure is a bitch.

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15. Magically getting into it all over again by the time the evening starts

Now is not the time to stop and think about how you somehow still have enough energy in you to be doing this, because let’s face it; you probably don’t.


16. Going out after all, but making it a point to be in bed by 11

Enough is enough; you’ve pushed your body to the limit and it won’t go any further.


17. Sleeping in on Monday and waking up to realize the long weekend is nearly done and you’ve done absolutely nothing productive

Why am I like this.


18. Spending the rest of the afternoon trying to get over a triple hangover

You’ve somehow managed to withstand two consecutive hangovers with the promise of more booze and more fun, but three is a magic (and deadly) number. 

While you’re at it, you slowly start trying to piece together the whole weekend.

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19. Receiving a message saying “One last time tonight?”

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Tag a friend who’s going to go through most of these stages this weekend!

READ NEXT: The Six Maltese Stages of Being Drunk

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