Tall people in Malta: basically aliens.
As a nation, Maltese people aren’t exactly the tallest folks, coming in with an average height of 159cm for women and 169cm for men.
Being tall may bring with it the advantages of being able to reach things from high shelves and having a particularly good view at Isle of MTV – but you can’t deny that there are some serious downsides to this particular genetic predisposition in a Maltese setting.
1. Finding the right pair of shoes is a nightmare.
Looking for stylish shoes or heels when you have a larger than average foot can be a struggle – and let’s not even get into heels.
Tall women can be left feeling self-conscious when wearing their favourite pair of heels, especially among the normal population – but honestly, own those heels girls, you do you!
2. And jeans are not ever long enough.
This might be a viable contender as the reason behind the ever-present cropped jeans trend. Tall people are just tired of finding jeans which are too short so they’ve just given in and left a little extra ankle out there.
3. And don’t even start on relationships…
I don’t know if it’s the societal constructs of gender roles speaking or just the patriarchal society we live in but we feel for any tall Maltese girl who falls in love with an average height Maltese guy.
4. People will assume you’re foreign.
In Malta, being tall is like being a rare giraffe on the savannah… which is probably why people assume anyone tall is foreign.
Speaking English in a heavy Maltese accent, they’ll ask something to which you’ll reply in Maltese… and the awkward laugh ensues.
5. It’s a challenge to sit on a bus or a plane.
Commuting can be pretty uncomfortable in general, let alone for a tall person with a lack of leg space in cars, buses and planes alike.
Every flight begins with begging the air hostess to let you have the emergency exit seat… and bus rides usually end up with you just standing.
6. Get ready for the worst compliments ever.
Sometimes the weirdest analogies or “compliments” come out of nowhere. Specifically, the awkward questions that random strangers will drop, like: “kemm tatek tiekol ommok?” or “jaqaw it-tabib ġibdek meta kont żgħir?”
7. Avoiding people is literally impossible.
When you’re taller than the average Maltese person you tend to stick out in a crowd, so it becomes particularly hard to avoid anyone.
Disguises could be a great possible alternative though – guess you’ve got another solid reason to keep wearing your mask forever now.